Sunday, October 24, 2010 so loud...

It is funny how I can be tough outside.

Happy outside, yet so soft & sad.

I try to think about other things, girls I have, money I make, but if I think about it, all the things I do, are done because of you.

I try to stop thinking about you but it is not working.

The sad part is I know where I ought to be... but my... I... look I do not know what to say.  I am confused at this point.

I have not seen you in a while but seeing you again just triggered some red, white and blue wires in my head and heart.

I once told myself...  "dude move on" but... I simply can not, wait I did... know what what ever.

The saddest part is I want you, but at the same time I am scared of rejection & the embarrassment that may come after.

nd all these thoughts are jumping inside me...

The thoughts are so loud... screamy (if the word exists)... like they have microphones and speakers...

I'l find a way one day to let you know how I feel and if you do not love me, somebody else will.




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