Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Music And My Love Life.

One of my favorite musicians of all time happens to be Sade
I have secretly pondered on why I like her songs so much.
Well Today I figured it out while listening to Sade's No Ordinary Love.
It reminded me of my high school love, who truly did all she could and I did not reciprocate the love. Her love for me seemed more than ordinary. I just was not ready for it. I felt I could do better than her. I did not want to settle for something I believed to be less. 

At that time in high school Usher was my favorite artist, I appeared to be like a Rake, I attracted females with little or no effort atleast that's what others thought. I was always in a relationship and if it things were not working out I moved on to another. 

Then again, during my low points, I listen to Sade's songs because she always had a lover she was singing for. She always sang about the love she had for him and how she was not going to back down or she sang about how the love her lover gave her was the best. She always made me want to be the lover she sang about. It was then I realized I lost a great love, perhaps my first love. I believe subconsciously I replaced my supposed first love with Sade and her lyrics. 

After a while I realized the females I fell for were always the "romantic type" even if they did not show it. I always found them. They were always the ones who suffered from a serious heartbreak. I always felt it was my responsibility to rescue them, thinking if I can make them love again it will make up for my high school error. But once they fall for me, I leave them with a deeper hole than I met. I leave them in a worse state, simply because my scars are not healed and because the hole in my soul is greater than what they can fill up.

So what did I do? I listened to Sade more. Hoping I will find someone like her or my first love again or someone better. But brrr it never happened. I tried to fill my hole with several cravings, pleasures and fantasies. Yet it remained.

Usher was no longer encouraging to me so I searched for an artist who understood me or an artist whose case was similar to mine.
The Weeknd became a good friend for a while, simply because his songs are indeed sad and he lets the world know about his pain and how he tries to cover them up.
After a long time of being a fan of his, I tried to get out of that phase. I began to search for an artist who was happy and in need of love. That was when I found Wizkid.

Wizkid made me love again, he made me start going out again. His songs gave me encouragement to find a woman to love even if it was for one night. Sadly I never felt true love with any of the women so I went back into a little form of depression. That was when I found Lana Del Rey.

She seemed to be truly happy with her sadness. She seemed like she will stick with her man no matter the weather. It made me feel like I had more hope. Like I did not have to change who I believe I was. 

I'm happy now that there are better songs I can still listen to. But Sade still remains one of them. That on it's own probably means I am still searching.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

From Henry To My Mistress


Verse 1

Perhaps you do not understand
but I cannot sleep. i can hardly breathe, thinking of you.

Your image is before my eyes every waken second

I almost believed that I will sacrifice my Kingdom, for an hour in your arms
I beg you. 
Name someplace that we can meet and when
that I can show you truly an affection which is beyond common affection

Chorus
I'm sorry if I offended you
i did not mean to.
i spoke plainly of my true feelings.

Verse 2

I want to say something to you.
If It pleases you to be my true loyal mistress and friend.
To give yourself surrender yourself body and soul.
I promise, I will take you as my only mistress
I won't have a third or an affection for anyone else
If you agree to be my matrees entree (official mistress)
I promise, I will serve only you.

Chorus
I'm sorry if I offended you
i did not mean to.
i spoke plainly of my true feeling.



I give you leave that we may always speak freely with each other
honestly, openly and with a true heart.
For me that is the true definition of love.


Edited words from Henry

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Let Me Be


What do you want from me
why cant you let me be
i'm not good for you
but you still want me
but cant you see
i cant be with you
'cause of the things i do
i just cant be with you
cause of who i am

So why dont you go away, far away from me
'Cause I will only hurt you while I hurt myself
I am not good alone, and I am not good with you
I have to fix myself before i let you in.
I thought I could fix myself, fixing you. 

you are less than what I want
and I am less than what you need.
so why dont you let me be
What do you want from me
Please let me be
Please let me be

Monday, March 26, 2012

Friday, March 16, 2012

My obsession with the Jordan River


Somewhere in Jordan, a part of my soul rests.
I found refuge in a place so foreign and exotic.
Captured by Aphrodite herself.
My heart can do nothing but imagine what could have been if it remained in Jordan.
The Dead Sea was the destination and my soul still floats around with no possibility of sinking and drowning…

As incomplete as my words,
So my decisions are,
As incomplete as our relationship was,
So do I wish all your relationships ‘til I find my way floating back to Jordan.

Friday, September 2, 2011

When is the right time to leave?

My friends and I where in the zones and I asked this questions and no one came up with an answer that I could relate to... say my dear blogizzles... when is the right time to leave a relationship?

do u wait till you are fed up?

do u leave when the thought of the question occurs?

after the 1st 3 months?

never?

cos i was taught that if sumn doesnt work ... try ... try and try again...
right now. my mentality is... before i get into a relationship try my best to figure atleast 30% of the person the rest during the relationship and if we get into a prob... we work things thru... but heeey from my past record you prob wont believe my new ideas on relationships so people I ask of you...

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO LEAVE A RELATIONSHIP?

Friday, August 12, 2011

LOVE & INFATUATION

#SoYouInLoveNow because you think bout him/her all day?

#SoYouInLoveNow because you see stars when u kiss?

shit... 

 #SoYouInLoveNow because he/she is your life?

at what point does it become infatuation , or are they the same?

which do u prefer? 

or does infatuation develop into love?

hmmm?


please lecture me people...

Saturday, July 30, 2011

COKE AND FANTA



COCA-COLA AND FANTA: A BEVERAGE DILEMMA

Hello everyone, I find myself in a quandary over the creators of Coca-Cola and Fanta. It's a conundrum of epic proportions that has me questioning my beverage preferences.

We are all familiar with Coca-Cola. It's not as sweet as one might assume, yet it contains more sugar than Fanta. Fanta, on the other hand, is visually appealing. One might assume it's sweeter than Coca-Cola, but it isn't. I'm sure you've noticed that Coca-Cola is more prevalent than Fanta in most places.

When I have Coca-Cola in my fridge, I feel an indescribable affinity for it. It's as if I can't live without it. The same applies to Fanta. Although it's not as ubiquitous as Coca-Cola, when I find it, I want nothing more than to savor it.

However, I currently find myself without either Coca-Cola or Fanta. It feels as if the manufacturers have abandoned me, leaving me feeling desolate and emotionally bereft. I'm left pondering which I desire more - Coca-Cola or Fanta?

As I was trying to make a decision, I noticed Sprite and Burn (the energy drink... so mild yet so strong and wild). This led me to wonder, am I being selfish? Should I choose between Coca-Cola and Fanta, or should I forgo them and opt for Sprite and Burn?

Furthermore, I realized that consuming all these drinks could potentially lead to health issues, such as diabetes.

I'm genuinely perplexed, folks. I'm unsure of how to choose, what to choose, or even what course of action to take.

For now, I've decided not to discriminate. I'll sample all of them and make a final decision based on which one offers the most satisfying taste. Kommytila has spoken.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

WHAT HAPPENS

What do u do. when you cant get over someone and everytime you see/think bout them you become sad, emotional, depressed...

what happens when you think it will last forever but... wow the end is here...

what happens when you know you cant have the one you wish for...

what happens when the one you want is with anoda person you dislike...

what happens when everything you lay your hand on dies out...

what happens when you really cant understand whats happening...

what happens when you know you have to move on. but  you just cant...

what happens when he/she doesnt call you no more

what happens when he/she doesnt even look at you again (calling is not even an issue)

what happens when you feel like a part of your heart is decomposing...

what happens when you finally think you have moved on ... and then realise you really arent half way.

what happens when the one u love betrays you...

what happens when the one u love keeps hurting you but yet you still want he/she to love you...

what happens...

what happens when one decides to end his/her life because they cant have the one dey desire...

what happens when your gone... will the one u desire think bout you...

what happens...

what happens...

what happens...

wht happens when the one you love begins to disgust you and you begin to hate "the one" but yet still love him/her...

what happens...

what happens when you cant think again...

what happens...

Monday, July 25, 2011

HEARTBREAK.

Yes true.
we always think we like/love/feel the other person in the relationship.
we always feel like it will never end or should i say hope nothing wrong will happen
we put in the best/our very best into our relationship.
we try u know, we really do try.
but... HEARTBREAK ... gbosa. just like that

well most ov us have been heart-broken. some more than others.
is it that we dont try enough to make our relationships work. or is the other person just. ah!!!!!!

there is no point to this post but i am wondering why we break hearts and why we allow our hearts get broken. when we know that at one point ov d relationship it will end... abi. its not as if we marrying the person...

but if we allow ourselves to think like the above paragraph. then relationships wont be ... iono how to explain... wont be DEN DEN DEN DEN...

so I ask what can we do in other to stop heartbreak...
is it really possible.
cuz i feel one person just has to be heart broken...

2 B IN A RELATIONSHIP OR NOT... DECISION SHUD BE-"TO BE HEART-BROKEN OR TO BREAK SUM1S HEART.